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Tag Archives: transracial adoption

Sometimes….

30 Tuesday Aug 2011

Posted by Momma J in The Family

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

adoption, transracial adoption

The other day I was trying to write a list post about the ten things I’ve learned about adoption.

I couldn’t do it.

You may have noticed I don’t write about adoption on this blog very often. Sometimes I feel like I should. There are a lot of people on the internet looking for information about adoption. I used to be one of them. I still am, most of the time. Sometimes though, I get tired of adoption on the blogosphere. I get tired of reading about it, I get tired of being asked about it, I get tired of thinking about it.

The thing is, I don’t ever feel like an adoptive momma. I feel like a momma-momma. I don’t go through the day looking at Little T, saying to myself, “there’s my adopted son”. I think, “there’s my son and I love him so much that I’d give my life for him.” When I think about adoption, I think of it as a part of him. I think about how I need to be sensitive as he gets older, so I can help him process everything. I think about his birth family as a part of his life that may come back someday, and how I can help him get through it. I think about ways to make sure he feels included in his birth culture. I think about these things as a momma who wants the best life she can give for her son because he has some special circumstances. Sure, the circumstances are unique to our family, but aren’t they always?

Sometimes I don’t want to read about adoption. Sometimes, this momma needs a break so she can go through the day without being being told that her son is her adoptive son, instead of her son, son.

Southwest airlines makes me grumpy.

21 Sunday Aug 2011

Posted by Momma J in The Family, The Travels

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

southwest airlines, transracial adoption

Our experience as a transracial family has been extremely positive so far. The only time we’ve been made to feel uncomfortable is when we fly Southwest Airlines. They always make a big deal out of seeing Little T’s birth certificate. Once, the airline stewardess even went as far as to say, “how do we know he’s really your child?” She demanded to see his birth certificate, AND his adoption papers. Excuse me, but it isn’t your job to play airline detective. I looked up their policy on showing birth certificates. It’s true that they need to verify a child’s age if they are under two, because they need to make sure they are young enough to qualify for a lap seat. So the reason for showing birth certificates is proving he’s young enough to ride on a lap, NOT to prove that he is our child. The airline stewardess was way out of line and it upsets me when I wondered what Little T would think if he was old enough to understand.

Ultimately, we need to get on the plane so we hold our tongue and show proof of his age, even though we know we’re being singled out because our family looks different. But THIS time, we were irked more than usual. This is because when we were in line, the family in front of us had a child that was the same age as Little T and they were also flying with their baby on their lap, but they were not asked to show a birth certificate. It left us wondering, why don’t they ask everyone this question if it’s airline policy? My best guess is that they saw the video of my husband dancing and decided he looked suspicious. But in all seriousness, what would you conclude if this kept happening to your transracial family?

I don’t know. Maybe it’s nothing. I try to think of explanations or reasons that we would keep getting singled out, but it’s just not sitting well with us.

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